Visited a beyond the box new church yesterday. Pastor Real Deal gave a call to action at the end of worship to come exchange our shoes for a pair of spa sandals, the kind you wear while getting a pedicure. Our good shoes are to be given to the homeless.
High Maintenance Child at once went up and swapped out the shoes she was wearing for spa thongs. Problem was: HMC was wearing her sister’s shoes, and Diva Child wasn’t feeling the call from God to relinquish them.
It was awkward because Real Deal had already praised HMC for being the first one up to make the exchange, and HMC declared God had led her to do it.
I told Diva Child to get over it, because she has 14 pairs of shoes in her closet, but he who must be obeyed exchanged a volley of emails with Mrs. Real Deal, and a footwear swap-out is imminent. He who must be obeyed donated his shoes as well, and those monsters cost me $150 a pop.
Pastor Real Deal did stir my heart to action: I am donating a box of stuff to charity this morning. After much deep contemplation, here are the items this gal can live without:
Box of Crunch & Munch (birthday gift)
Coffee mug emblazoned with I Love LuLu (got no explanation)
Size 4 tank top (who am I kidding, right?)
Box of chocolate pasties (gift from hub in 1999, unopened)
Assorted thong underwear (thrift shoppers can have fetishes)
purple Crocs
gently used Yankee Candles
Please feel free to send any ideas to boost my karma. It's looking a little raggedy these days.
Love,
Viv
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