Vivian Carter's Blog

My fingers hurt.

This is Aaron the Sadistic (yet highly motivational) Trainer's fault. Well, fault carries a negative connotation. Let's say that my aches and pains are his "doing."

Vivian Beauchamp and I have a very important function to attend in the near future, and we told Aaron tonight that we must be hotties by September 9. Aaron Who Does Not Smile said, "Ladies, you are halfway there."

This pleased us. I asked, "So we're warmies now?"

Aaron skipped a beat and quipped, "Maybe room temp."

You know what, I'll take it. Progress has already been made. I am currently shopping in the Juniors Department at Macy's. Jussayin.

So due to Aaron's schedule, and our own commitment to fitness, we walked from Big Vivi's home up to the gym, and thus had to walk back to her home in the dark.

Limping along, we passed under a streetlamp, and as we passed by a FROG jumped out at Big Vivi, causing her to levitate in shock and horror. (Give us spiders and snakes any day, we're cool. But frogs frighten us. Badly.)

So the frog launched itself in her direction, BV was startled into the air, whereupon she unleashed a torrent of verbal abuse upon the thing.

As Aaron had complimented my form in the weight room, this room temperature cougariffic soul was moved with compassion for the frog. Feeling it did not deserve to be called out hatefully by BV, I rebuked her.

I said, "Poor little toad. He ain't never done you no wrong. Why you gotta throw him shade like that?"

BV for some reason experienced this as unbearably hilarious, and so what happened next is "in the vault."

The point is, frog or no frog, we are on our way. In the vernacular: we is fixing to be HOT. Look out world.